Year: 2013

365 Nights in Hollywood: Lem Bardi, Unlimited

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Jimmy Starr began his career in Hollywood in the 1920s, writing the intertitles for silent shorts for producers such as Mack Sennett, the Christie Film Company, and Educational Films Corporation, among others. He also toiled as a gossip and film columnist for the Los Angeles Record in the 1920s and from 1930-1962 for the L.A. Herald-Express.
Starr was also a published author. In the 1940s, he penned a trio of mystery novels, the best known of which, The Corpse Came C.O.D., was made into a movie.
In 1926, Starr authored 365 Nights in Hollywood, a collection of short stories about Hollywood. It was published in a limited edition of 1000, each one signed and numbered by the author, by the David Graham Fischer Corporation, which seems to have been a very small (possibly even a vanity) press.
Here’s “Lem Bardi, Unlimited” from that 1926 collection.

LEM BARDI,UNLIMITED

 
 
Lem Smith had changed his name!
But it didn’t matter. Hollywood had not formally met the actor yet, anyhow.
Lem had seen Leo Carrillo in Lombardi, Ltd., once, and the title had always stuck with him.
In his own egotistic mind he was the one and only juvenile for the screen. Thus his sudden departure from Texas for Cinemaland.
He had written Harold Lloyd and Tommy Meighan that he was coming. But he supposed they were busy working and couldn’t get away from the studio, as they had not greeted him upon the arrival of the train.
Neither had Sam Goldwyn or Carl Laemmle.
As Lem walked up from the station he passed a sign which read: “Cards Printed. 50c Per Hundred.”
Twenty minutes later Lem was carefully holding a smalls stack of cards bearing the inscription:
“Lem Bardi, Unlimited.”
Lem was a wise guy. He inquired the way to Hollywood. A newsboy directed him west, but Lem was a wise guy to city fellows, so he went east.
He got on the wrong car.
Lem was a wise guy!
Two hours later Lem had his first view of the film village. But there were no celluloid friends in sight. At least none of the stars were out. Lem knew them all.
Lem strolled down the boulevard nonchalantly.
He stopped to gaze into a window.
Jackie Saunders spoke to him. She told him to get off her foot!

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Merry Christmas from Cladrite Radio—and Carole Lombard!

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Here’s wishing a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year to Cladrite Radio readers and listeners everywhere!

And as a gift from us to you, we’re placing Carole Lombard, ca. 1927, under the tree.


P.S. A reader sent this image our way, so we don’t know who “The Giant” might be—we would otherwise give due credit for the picture’s tinting. But here’s a tip of the fedora to said Giant, wherever and whomever he (or she) may be.

Have an OTR Christmas!

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The hours till Christmas are dwindling down, and the way we figure it, odds are pretty good that you’re looking to kill a little time right about now.

You’re either stuck at the office on Christmas Eve, but with precious little to actually do. Or you’ve already headed home for the holidays but found the first wave of small talk has subsided and you’re left with not too much to say to your various and sundry relatives.

Or heaven forbid, you’re stuck in a flight delay at the airport, in which case you could surely use a pleasing distraction.

As we’ve stated in this space before, we have nothing whatsoever to do with OTRCat.com, purveyors of audio collections of old-time radio programs. We don’t benefit in any way from offering plugs for them.

But we enjoy listening to old radio programs and we like it that, when major holidays roll around, the good folks at OTRCat make it a practice to offer a round-up of timely broadcasts for the streaming (or, if you prefer, the downloading), absolutely free.

This week, as you might guess, they’ve got a line-up of a dozen shows with a Christmas theme, and the range of genres and decades is impressive. You can catch everything from comedies (Burns and Allen, Jack Benny) to mystery-horror (Lights Out, The Weird Circle), musical variety programs (Kraft Music Hall featuring Bing Crosby), and even cop shows (Dragnet).

Speaking of Dragnet, we’re sharing that one below, just to whet your appetite—but we strongly recommend you head over to OTRCat.com to see the entire line-up. And why not consider making a purchase of one of their entertaining collections of OTR programs while you’re at it? They couldn’t be more affordable, and they make great holiday gifts for those vintage-minded individuals on your gift list.

Dragnet: “Twenty-two Rifle for Christmas” (12/21/1950; 28:44)

365 Nights in Hollywood: Montmartre Memorabilia

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Jimmy Starr began his career in Hollywood in the 1920s, writing the intertitles for silent shorts for producers such as Mack Sennett, the Christie Film Company, and Educational Films Corporation, among others. He also toiled as a gossip and film columnist for the Los Angeles Record in the 1920s and from 1930-1962 for the L.A. Herald-Express.
Starr was also a published author. In the 1940s, he penned a trio of mystery novels, the best known of which, The Corpse Came C.O.D., was made into a movie.
In 1926, Starr authored 365 Nights in Hollywood, a collection of short stories about Hollywood. It was published in a limited edition of 1000, each one signed and numbered by the author, by the David Graham Fischer Corporation, which seems to have been a very small (possibly even a vanity) press.
Here’s “Montmartre Memorabilia” from that 1926 collection.

MONTMARTRE MEMORABILIA

 
 
After climbing the stairs a pretty Titian-haired girl with blue eyes gives you a green check for your hat and coat.
Many of the chaps in Hollywood never wear a hat. It is economical, at least.
In the lobby the heavy carpet is checkered with black and white. After ascending two steps at the entrance to the cafe, one is greeted by a tall, black-haired man in a tuxedo.
Paul knows—knows whether one would accept a back table or demand a ring-side seat. That is Paul’s business. He is paid for knowing and reading the size of your pocketbook.
And Paul knows! He’s never missed yet.
The ceiling is very high. Beautiful cut glass chandeliers hang low, exhaling brilliant sparkles from their hidden incandescent bulbs. The walls are cream colored with a velvety finish and of the mid-Victorian period.
The south end faces upon the busy boulevard and is a solid row of high French windows, from which extend small balconies. At the other end the entrance and exit to the kitchen are cleverly hidden by a small backing. In front of this is placed the nine-piece orchestra, under the leadership of the famous composer, Vincent Rose.
The dance floor is a cedar square in the exact centre. There are four corner posts, to which are fastened a gauzy network called “The Shiek’s Tent.” This is drawn together, enclosing the floor after the dancing has begun.
Subdued clatter of dishes. Buzz of conversation. High-pitched laughter and coarse guffaws. Vincent is lightly fingering the piano. Shining teeth gleam between lips of dark red. Gowns of all hues. Shirt studs. Spotlights. Shining hair against the bronzed heads of men.
Fascinating.
The tables are terraced on wide stairs circling the dance floor. Around the walls is a continuous seat with tiny tables for two,—close together.
We are seated.
We exchange stares. It is the habit.
Everyone is trying to guess the identity of everyone else.
That is Hollywood.
A well-known film favorite enters and there is a loud buzz of talk. Praises, knocks, scandal. Everything is very Bohemian, yet there is a certain commercial undercurrent, which, to the true Bohemian, is obnoxious.
The music begins. There is a shoving back of chairs, hastily dropped cigarettes into china ashtrays. The girls effect graceful poses as they saunter to the dance floor. The men wear satisfied smiles. All are splendid dancers.
There is nothing so vain as a man—unless it is a woman!

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We Love Lucy, Even in Color

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We’re looking forward to tonight’s I Love Lucy Christmas special on CBS—so much so that we don’t even mind that it’s been colorized, a process we usually don’t have much use for.

For one thing, the colorizing technology has improved so much over the years, it makes hard to object terribly strenuously (though you’d still hear us howling if they were to colorize The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca or some other black-and-white cinematic masterpiece).

Today’s hour-long offering includes a 1956 Christmas episode that places colorized wraparound segments around a number of flashbacks of classic scenes (which for some reason are not colorized—why, we’ve no clue) and the familiar episode that finds the Ricardos and the Mertzes traveling to Rome, where Lucy and Ethel taking a run at stomping grapes at a winery (this episode, if we understand correctly, is colorized).

The colorized fun begins at 8 p.m. ET on CBS, and to whet your appetite, here’s a snippet from the Christmas episode.