Spend New Year’s Eve with the Marxes & the Charleses

What are you doing New Year’s Eve? We’re not referencing the classic song of that name (a favorite of ours, by the way); we’re asking the question. Because Turner Classic Movies has arranged a day of programming that, for our money, negates any need to even think of joining the inebriated hordes who’ll be out on the town, paying too much to have too little fun. Stay home instead, and enjoy the Marx Brothers all day and Nick and Nora Charles (and Asta, too) all night!

The Marx Brothers‘ first—and finest—seven pictures will air (slightly out of order, which is a bit of a head-scratcher) beginning at 8:15 a.m. ET, followed by all six Thin Man movies (which are being shown in proper order) beginning at 8 p.m. ET.

It’s nearly 23 hours of programming, so you’ll want to get plenty of rest tonight.

New Year's Eve -- Duck Soup and After the Thin Man posters

Saying Goodbye to Groucho

We’re not much for marking the day people pass away; we prefer to celebrate the day they were born. But the anniversary of Groucho Marx’s passing—he died on this day in 1977—carries with it some sad, sweet memories that are worth revisiting.

We can still vividly remember our first Marx Brothers movie. It was 1974 and, having just turned sixteen, we were given permission to borrow the family Volvo to drive across town to catch a double feature of Horse Feathers and Monkey Business.

We were thoroughly and completely hooked—on the entire Marx clan, of course, but especially Groucho. Our prized possession to this day remains the autographed photo we received from him after sending him a birthday card on what proved to be his last birthday.

On August 19, 1977, we were on a camping trip in Colorado with our parents and siblings. We were sporting a Groucho t-shirt, as we often did in those days, and a kid we’d met the night before at the campground where we were staying walked up and said, “Hey, guess what happened?”

At that moment, we had a sort of premonition about what he was referring to, though we hadn’t heard any news, having only just crawled out of our sleeping bag.

“Groucho died,” we said. A statement, not a question.

“Yeah, how did you know?” he asked.

We didn’t know exactly how we knew, but we did, somehow. And we were more than a little bit heartbroken over it.

Distraught, we sought out our folks for the solace they could provide. We found them at the campground’s general store, where they were in the process of buying all the copies of that day’s newspaper, so that we might be spared the sad news of Groucho’s passing, which they feared would spoil the last two days of the trip for us.

It was one of the sweetest things anyone ever did for us.

The other sweetest thing? Our father, hoping to cheer us up, gave us some money and told us to go have some fun. We went to an Old West-themed amusement park, where we bought (well, placed an order for—they were delivered via the mail) three one-dollar bills with pictures of Groucho, Harpo, and Chico superimposed over George Washington’s face.

When they arrived in the mail some weeks later, we had them framed, and they hang on our wall to this day.

We can remember how, on the long ride home from Colorado to Oklahoma City, the deejays on the radio kept going on and on about Elvis, and we were thinking, “But Groucho died! What about that?”

We told our mother that day that it was the only time in his life that Groucho’s timing had been off.

We’re still not over Groucho’s passing. The world was a better place with him in it.

Whatever it is, I'm against it

Turner Classic Movies is offering 9.5 hours of merry Marx madness with a Marx Brothers marathon tonight.

It’s a six-pack of pictures featuring Groucho, Harpo, Chico and sometimes Zeppo.

Here’s the line-up (all times eastern):

8:00pm — Monkey Business (1931)
Four stowaways get mixed up with gangsters while running riot on an ocean liner.
Cast: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Zeppo Marx Dir: Norman McLeod

9:30pm — Horse Feathers (1932)
In an effort to beef up his school’s football team, a college president mistakenly recruits two loonies.
Cast: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Zeppo Marx Dir: Norman McLeod

10:45pm — Duck Soup (1933)
When he’s named dictator of Freedonia, a con artist declares war on the neighboring kingdom.
Cast: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Zeppo Marx Dir: Leo McCarey

12:00am — A Night at the Opera (1935)
Three zanies turn an operatic performance into chaos in their efforts to promote their protege’s romance with the leading lady.
Cast: Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Kitty Carlisle Dir: Sam Wood

2:00am — A Day at the Races (1937)
A group of zanies tries to save a pretty girl’s sanitarium.
Cast: Groucho [Marx], Chico [Marx], Harpo [Marx], Allan Jones Dir: Sam Wood

4:00am — At the Circus (1939)
The Marx Bros. team up to keep a circus from going bankrupt.
Cast: Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Kenny Baker Dir: Edward Buzzell

We can still vividly remember our first Marx Brothers movie. It was 1974 and, having just turned sixteen, we were given permission to borrow the family Volvo to drive across town to catch a double feature of Horse Feathers and Monkey Business. Horse Feathers opens with Groucho’s Prof. Quincy Adams Wagstaff being installed as the president of Huxley College. Following a longwinded introduction by a stuffy faculty member, Groucho steps to the podium and addresses the assembled students:

Members of the faculty and faculty members, students of Huxley and Huxley students — well, I guess that covers everyone.

I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech. And that reminds me of a story that’s so dirty I’m ashamed to think of it myself.

As I look over your eager faces, I can readily understand why this college is flat on its back. The last college I presided over, things were slightly different — I was flat on my back. Things kept going from bad to worse, but we all put our shoulders to the wheel and it wasn’t long before I was flat on my back again.

Any questions? Any answers?? [breaks into song] Any rags, any bones, any bottles today …

[bangs a gavel on podium] Who’ll say 76? Who’ll say 1776? That’s the spirit — 1776!

The real reason I came to this college was to get my son out of it. Ah, I remember well the day he left — a mere boy and a beardless youth. I kissed them both goodbye….

And so it went. We were thoroughly and completely hooked — on the entire Marx clan, of course, but especially Groucho. Our prized possession to this day remains the autographed photo we received from him after sending him a birthday card on what proved to be his last birthday.

And we remain as devoted to the boys as ever. If you’re a fan, you know what delights tonight’s marathon holds in store. If you’ve not yet been initiated to the bizarre world of the Marxes, here’s your chance.